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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

#2 was much better!

#2 was much better!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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My RE rocks my socks!

I would like to start by saying that in time from Thurs-Monday 8 different people were all up in my business. I swear, all modesty is lost with this whole baby making thing.

So yeah, from the minute I met my RE I loved that woman! Today solidified that :) We got to the RE's office (the closer one we normally go to) and after DH gave his sample the washing was really quick. They called me back to the room and the nurse that was assigned to me was really sweet and asked me how I was feeling after yesterday debacle. I told her better just some cramping but I couldn't sit for a few hours after I got home. She said MY RE (there are 6 in the practice and the one that did my IUI yesterday was one of the male doctors) would be doing my IUI today. I was happy :)

So she came in and gave me a big hug and said "So I heard you had an interesting experience yesterday", DH & I laughed.

She got started and it was very "pap-smear" like. My eyes were closed and DH was rubbing my arm when I opened them he gave me a thumbs up! The whole thing was done in about 5 minutes. No crazy tools, no needles, she did great!


SO! we're officially in the 2ww. EEK!

I'm trying very hard not to think about it because I will drive myself crazy. I'm also trying to stay positive while not getting my hopes up. This is going to be a very emotional 2 weeks.
Our insurance covers 2 more tries at this, so while I'm truly hoping it works this time after everything we went through to just get to this point I know we have a few more chances.

I'll be praying to go everyday for the next 8 days or so and then I'll know.

So please keep us in your thoughts, any good vibes that can be spared are greatly appreciated.
Sunday, October 25, 2009

All IUI's should be this fun!

All IUI's should be this fun!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
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I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible, btw.

First, a brief recap on this week. Thursday was my first monitoring appt. My follicles were not ready and my E2 was still low so I had to go back Friday and Saturday for more b/w and more u/s. Friday I was able to go to the Pines office but yesterday we had to drive to Margate. Mind you, we live in Homestead. Yesterday's u/s showed my 1 follie was 22mm (they like to see over 18mm) and my E2 was 273 (they like between 200-250. So I was given the go ahead for the trigger and Alexis put that one in my gut at about 8:45pm last night. We reported for the first IUI this morning at 8am.
Now on to today.....

You ever have one of those weeks where you feel like everything is going wrong and when you think it can't get any worse some else happens and all you can do is laugh?

Yup! that was my morning.

So we get to the RE's office at 8am. DH gave his "sample" and the nurse told us that it would be about 45 minutes to and hour for the wash. By the time they called it was about 9:30am. We went in to the room and the nurse was really nice. The first thing she said was "This is where the magic happens" How romantic!
She told us the post-wash count was 60 million and then gave me a brief run through of what would be happening. She asked if I had any questions and then we started.

Thus began the "funny" part.....

They could not get the catheter in to my uterus. She tried a couple of times and it just was not working. She then went and found another nurse to try. She was a little rougher but the discomfort/pain was bearable.
Nurse #1 was trying to take my mind of what was going on by asking me when I wanted to do my P4 b/w and then asked me if this was my first insemination to which I responded yes. She replied, "Oh no! I'm so sorry we're ruining it for you"
Nurse #2 also had no luck.

They said they would call the RE and have him do it. Great!

Well the RE was doing an ET. They said he would be about 45 minutes. So we went back out to the waiting room and waited. Thankfully, the RE's office has a computer station with internet access so I was able to keep myself entertained. Mind you, the RE's office closes at 9:30 on Sundays. At this point it was already about 10:25am so the office was completely empty they had turned off some of the lights and it was just DH & I. I soooo wanted to take a nap. We got gotten up at 5:30am to make to almost 2 hour drive to the office.

Anyway, once the Dr. was done we went back in to the room.

He was really nice and tried to make me comfortable.

As it turns out, my uterus is backwards which equals a painful IUI.

I didn't see what was going on because I was laying down but I do know that they inserted the speculum, then he inserted a needle (yes, a needle in my vagina!) with an anesthetic to numb the area (so glad I didn't see this part, I would have freaked out), then put in the tenaculum

and used it to straighten the angle between the cervix and the uterus could he insert the catheter. The whole thing was really painful and took about 15 minutes. Much worse than the HSG. DH was nervous since he saw everything they were sticking in there but he was really good at trying to get me to relax.

After they were done they left us in the room so I could lay for about 15-20 minutes. At this point DH started his comedy hour. He was being super silly and loving which was great :)
Once the time was up we went home. On the way down the elevator the IVF patients that the RE was working on before be got on when we passed the lab floor. Nurses 1 & 2 were with us also and Nurse #1 was chatting with her. The wife was saying how the ET went so much better than she could have ever hoped and that sh was so excited. I was so happy for her. I didn't even know this woman and at that instant I just wanted to hug her and wish her luck! Wherever you are lady in the elevator, I wish you lots of luck and hope your embies snuggle in for the long haul!!!

So now I'm home and up from my nice long nap. I laid in the car since sitting was just not an option and I'm still in a bit of pain now which is usually made better once I lay down.I'll be back there tomorrow for IUI #2.

The RE that's doing it tomorrow did my HSG so I'm hoping he'll have an easier time.

That's all for today :) I'll have a brief update after tomorrow.
Monday, October 19, 2009


Monday, October 19, 2009
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So Saturday I took the last 100mg of Clomid and today is the day I take the Follistim.

I am NOT looking forward to this AT ALL.

The shot is going in the stomach below the bellybutton. Doesn't that just sound like all sorts of fun?!

Now, I know that people who do all injectables or IVF have it way worse than I do so I really shouldn't complain BUT, I just recently got over my huge fear of needles.
Don't get me wrong, I still hate them and cringe at the thought but, I have gotten MUCH better.
It's always been a huge joke in my family that I'm the biggest baby when it comes to needles. I used to give my pediatrician the worst time with shots.
I have a tendency to panic, thus causing my veins to pop when they try to take blood out. I had to be hospitalized for strep throat once and it took them 7 tries to get the IV in.

Once I started seeing the RE I needed to get it together very quickly because giving blood would soon become a new hobby.
So I've learned to deal with the giving blood. Giving myself a shot however, not so much.

The Follistim has to be given between 5-9pm. Of course DH is at work during that time so I have every intention of driving him to work so that I can go by and see him between that time frame and he can give it to me.
I can already see myself staring at the damn pen for the entire 4 hours trying to decide HOW to do it.

So, problem solved. Alexis thinks I'm crazy but oh well! He'll just have to deal! :)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Third time IS a charm!! :)

Third time IS a charm!! :)
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
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Well contrary to what I thought yesterday....the cyst is GONE! wooot!

Today's appt. went great :) Thanks to those of you that gave your well wishes. Third times a charm!

The u/s tech was happily surprised to see that my monster cyst was gone. I thought I heard wrong when she said it but, it's gone! She said she remembered how big it was and said there was no way she could miss it if it was still there.


So I sat down with the nurse and she went over all the meds and gave me my schedule for the remainder of the cycle.
I'll start taking Clomid tonight(CD 3).

I'll take these for 5 days and then on CD 9 I get a shot in the belly. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to pull it off since the goal was to have Alexis do it but he'll be at work and it needs to go in between 5-9pm.


3 days later on 10.22 I have my first monitoring appt. to check for follicle growth. If all is well then I should do the Ovidrel that day or the following.

IUI's are set to be B2B and should take place (god willing) the last week of this month.

I'm going to try to remain hopeful while not getting my hopes high. I've been really open about my IF struggles thus far but aside from my aunt and the readers of this blog, we've decided not to tell any other family members.

I figure the less people I tell the less people I have to tell if it doesn't work.

I really can't put in to words the million different emotions I'm feeling starting this leg of the journey. I thought I had an idea but I was wrong. I'm excited, scared, terrified, anxious.... I think I need a xanax. I'm trying to attempt to prepare myself mentally for the possibility that it might not work but I'm not sure that's even possible. I will just continue to pray!

Thanks again, SO MUCH to those of you that continuously send all the good, positive vibes and have us in your thoughts and prayers. It means more than you know!

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's been a while.....

It's been a while.....
Monday, October 12, 2009
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So I've basically avoided the blog for a little while because of this stupid cysts cancelling my cycles. I've had absolutely nothing positive to say so I haven't said anything at all. So far, 2 cycles have been a no go thanks to the cyst.
Tomorrow I will go for another CD2 u/s. It's actually happening on CD3 which means if all is clear (which I'm not expecting it to be) I can start taking Clomid tomorrow.
If the cyst is still there then I have plans to discuss having a lap with the RE to remove it.
I really do not want to have to do this because, wel, I'm scared shitless.
But, the reality is, I'd rather go through that pain and a week of recovery than have to deal with the excruciating pain of the damn cyst several times a month.

This whole process is really starting to wear on me emotionally. I'm really just trying to remain positive. I know that there are sooo many women who have it MUCH worse than me but this is the situation I'm dealing with. I just pray to god that it doesn't get much worse before it gets better.

If you can spare any good vibes they'd be greatly appreciated.
Friday, August 21, 2009

quick update and some....

quick update and some....
Friday, August 21, 2009
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Well as you read from the last post all progress was postponed due to the cyst.
It took me about 2 days to get over it but I guess I'm feeling a little better about it. I've had a lot of other issues I've been dealing with lately, adult crap and I'm just hoping things settle down soon.

My RE's nurse called me back that day and said that she could start me on BCP's on Sunday. She did advise me that although it wouldn't necessarily help the existing cysts it would prevent any new ones.
Since based on the pain I know I ge these things monthly I decided to just go for it.

It's weird being back on BCP after getting off of it 4 years ago.
The pharmacist looked at me cooked when I told him I was there to pick up my BCP and I had an active Rx for PNV's. Even funnier was Alexis trying to explain it to him since we were int he drive-thru pharmacy. LOL
He told him something about it having to do with "fertilization". Way off honey but thanks for playing :) He cracks me up.

The BCP's are treating my ok so far. I'm on Reclipsen. I do get some headaches from time to time but nothing crazy. I'm really hoping that I will only have to be on these this month. This cyst really needs to go away. I do get a little nervous because I'm still getting pain here and there but hopefully it will be gone by the end of the month. I have 2 more weeks of active pills so we'll see.

So now on to what I'm sure will be a big long paragraph of emotional stuff.....

Before we went to our last appt. I had been doing a lot of thinking on what was about to happen, what's still going to happen. This journey that we've already started that was about to get a lot more "interesting".
I began to think about how it would all make me feel. Not just the physical feelings, because I already know all that sucks, but the emotional.
I told Alexis that one of the biggest worries I had was how I would feel during the 2ww? How would I feel if it didn't work?
It's scary.
It's hard to build your self to be so positive only to have it come crashing down so fast. I was lucky that when I had the C/P last summer I was in such a state of denial and shock that I never really gave it a chance to sink in. I knew something was wrong from the very first minute. It's funny how sometimes you just KNOW it won't have a positive outcome. Once it was over the feelings that came over me were strange. I truly felt like I had no right to grieve over it because medically it hadn't really "started". I took it as a big positive that I knew getting pregnant was a possibility and looked forward to the future.
Little did I know the future would lead me here. I'm worried about not being able to afford the injectables which I've now found out I have to pay OOP for. I'm worried about the IUI's not working at all. I worry about actually getting the BFP and actually making it to 5-6 wks and then having something happen. But more than anything, I look forward to the possibility of it working and 9 months later having our baby. To finally having that little person that's part of us.
That poem I posted a little while back is starting to make more more sense to me.

The longer this process takes the more respect I have for the women that have endured it much longer than me. Those that make my experience thus far look like not much of an "experience" at all. I go on the TTTC board on The Bump and it's so inspirational to see all these women and their immeasurable strength. It gives me hope that some how, some day, we'll be parents.
They are truly incredible and I thank god that I can go there for familiarity and comfort.
It's make me feel like we can totally get through this and in the end we will get everything we wanted.
Friday, August 14, 2009

IUI #1 = Cancelled :(

IUI #1 = Cancelled :(
Friday, August 14, 2009
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I should have already known what the outcome of today's u/s was going to be when I woke up in pain this morning from my right ovary. I should have been more prepared by the time I got to the RE's office and sitting was uncomfortable. Finally, I should have definitely known when the tech walked in to the u/s room with the Fertility Meds book and never gave it to me after the u/s.

But when we sat down with the meds nurse that was going to give me my prescription and go over everything with me, I was hopeful.
Right before she was about to go over everything she went out to see the tech and came back and said the cycle had to be cancelled because of a "really large cyst on my right ovary".
To add insult to injury she mentioned how the Clomid would have been free this month & Follistim was going to be free because of some special where they give you a 300iu vial for your first time. She did promise to try to save it for me and run it by my doc to see if I could still get it for next month. She recommended calling my RE's nurse to see if they could put me on BCP this month to help the cause.

So basically, today sucks.

I was really trying to be positive yesterday and coming in to today. It's rough coming off that high of positive thoughts.

Oh well, put on a brave face and wait for next month.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear AF,

Dear AF,
Friday, August 7, 2009
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It really would be fabulous if you showed up already.

Tis' all.
Friday, July 31, 2009

So I would like to share....

So I would like to share....
Friday, July 31, 2009
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that this whole process has made me ridiculously emotional.

Yup. I cry for all things baby related. The other day I sat on the couch and cried watching "A Baby Story" and of course because I love to torture myself I watched about 4 episodes.

Upon telling Alexis he said that he knew that show was evil and promised to yell at it when he got home. Lol of my recent episodes was this past weekend in the Keys. We were walking on Duval and passed this little shop hat my friend Tania had visited several times in the past.

They sell these frame by Sugarboo....BEAUTIFUL. Expensive, but beautiful.

I was reading all the frames and came across this one:

Needless to say, I starting crying in the store and needed to walk out. Awesome.

The frames are wooden and huge and come in different colors and are about $265. I have every intention of buying this one when the time comes.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Follow-Up Update :)

Follow-Up Update :)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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So today was the follow-up! I honestly felt nauseated the whole way up there. I thought I was going to puke. Since my post testing follow-up with my last Dr. resulted in only let down I was super nervous about this one.

We got to the office and met with the RE immediately. After the warm hello and smiles (love her) her first words were "Got all your test results back and everything looks good!". The only thing that was a little off was my blood sugar (a little high because of the PCOS) but I already knew that from my last doctor. Her only recommendation was that I be mindful of what I eat. She also reminded me that being a "big girl" I should not gain excess weight during my pregnancy. I already knew that. Apparently, I'll only gain about 5-10lbs during pregnancy.

Anyway, her next question was how aggressive we wanted to be. In my case it really wasn't about "want" but more so that our insurance covers certain things and therefore we wanted to make the most out of what would be covered.

So we've decided to go the IUI route. Alexis and I had been talking about it over the last 2 weeks and we had pretty much already come to that conclusion due to his low morph. The doctor said IUI would be good since his count and motility were really good :)
We are starting with a "more simple" version of the IUI as per my Dr.

Here is the schedule:

CD 1 = Call Dr. to schedule CD 2 Ultrasound.
CD 2 = Ultrasound...if all is well (no cysts) I will be given my Clomid, Follistim & Ovidrel.
CD 3 - 7 = 2 50mg tablets of Clomid per day

CD 9 = DH gets to inject me with Follistim (shot goes in my stomach. FUN!)

CD 12 = Go in to check follicle sizes....if I have enough mature follicles that night DH gives me the Ovidrel injected (also in my stomach)

In the event that there were not enough mature follicles, we would go back in another couple of days for another u/s.
I would not take the Ovidrel shot until there were enough mature follies.

After the hCG (Ovidrel) shot I go in for the IUI. We'll be doing them back-to-back.

Dr. says we'll try this for 2-3 cycles and see what happens. In the event that it doesn't work we'll go a different route. The more aggressive route has a much higher chance of multiples so we hope it will work with that.

AF should be coming next week so it's only a matter of waiting now.

We're both excited and nervous and a huge ball of emotion. I'm also relieved that the overall appt. went well. My RE is truly wonderful.
Saturday, July 18, 2009

Off meds and a + OPK :)

Off meds and a + OPK :)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
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So this past week was rough. The antibiotic totally kicked my ass but thankfully last night I took my last pill and hopefully I'll never have to repeat them. The cramps and spotting were gone by Thursday. I'm glad recovery from that was quick. My husband totally rocked this week. I really couldn't have asked for a better man.

Per the RE's orders I was to start with the OPK's on CD 10. Today, CD13, I woke up, went to the bathroom, pee'd on the OPK and 3 minutes later.....
I immediately came online and made my appointment for my P4 test. I'll have that done on Monday 7/27 since it needs to be done 7-10 days after. Hooray for the last test of the month! Woot!
I'm so glad that everything will be getting done in 28 days. Hopefully August will bring good things!

Next weekend, from Fri-Sun, Alexis and I are going down to the Keys for the weekend. I'm soooo looking forward to it. Our friends and our god-daughter are coming too. I think it will be a nice little getaway before we start treatment.

I've been thinking so much about everything the last few days. Definitely trying to stay positive but mentally preparing myself for what's to come. Good or bad. First being our appointment on the 30th. I honestly have no idea what the RE is going to say. I still have not heard about the results of all my blood work. I can only hope it's nothing terrible. I keep telling myself if it was bad they would have called. But you never know.

The 30th really can not come any faster!

I'm just going to continue thinking happy thoughts.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

HSG = Done! & got DH's SA Results

HSG = Done! & got DH's SA Results
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
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So we'll start with the HSG.

First of all, I do not recommend this procedure to anyone. It was something I totally could have gone through life not having! I've never been one to have AF symptoms, so for me the cramps were REALLY bad. Thankfully it was all over in about 10 minutes. I really tried to concentrate on the little monitor to keep my mind off the pain. The Dr. that did it was one of the doctor's in my RE's practice and he was wonderful. He flushed out some stuff in my left tube but said I passed and gave my goods a stamp of approval. "Clear tubes and a good looking uterus" I’m still bleeding a little and have some pain but it's bearable and Dr. said it should be gone within 2 days.
Although I'm thankful it was done and we've ruled out any issues regarding my tubes and uterus, I truly hope I never have to have another one.

Now on to the SA results for the most part they were really good. The count and motility were both high with is awesome and the concentration is really good too. ^ 5 Babe!
The only thing that is a little off but not totally terrible is the morphology (shape and size) but that's something that hopefully is fixed fairly easily.
DH is a big smoker so I had a feeling if there were any problems the morph would be it BUT he stopped smoking a week ago and will start taking vitamins tomorrow which will help a lot. The internet says that Vitamin C & E will improve his "little soldiers" overall. I'm very proud of him. He hasn't stopped all together but is getting there. He's gone from smoking a pack in 2 days to about 2-3 cigs a day in a week. I'm very proud of him :)

We go for our follow-up on July 30th and that's when we'll go over all the results and decide on a plan.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Dreading tomorrow....

Dreading tomorrow....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
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So tomorrow is the HSG and as I've previously stated I'm not looking forward to it.

The antibiotic they gave me totally sucks. I can be thankful that I didn't get he whole long list of side effects that I could have had but I have had to deal with headaches, nausea and some dizziness since yesterday.
The label also advised me to stay out of the sun. DH says it's going to turn me in to a vampire. Hm. No such luck so far.

Anyway, as for tomorrow, DH asked for a half day from work to come with me. Yesterday, he said home with me for a little while because I felt horrible after taking the first pill in the morning. I apparently did not eat enough to avoid the nausea. It was really bad. When he got to work his manager who is wonderful ask him why he was late, he explained ( I don't mind since she was very close to me while I worked there), he also explained why he was taking a half day tomorrow and she encouraged him to take the whole day.
Apparently she has had an HSG before and said it would be best for him to stay home with me all day. AWESOME. In both a good and bad way.

Oh well.

I'm also extremely nervous because we get the results of all the tests we've had so far tomorrow.
I'm trying not to think about it because I know it will drive me crazy.
I actually let it get to me a little the other night before bed and I had a what can only be described as a nightmare regarding the SA results.
Pray for us, please.

Ok, enough complaining. I know in the end it will all be worth it. It's just difficult because I was the kid that was never sick, never hospitalized, only went to the doctor when I needed check-ups or vaccs. so all this poking and testing is all very foreign to me. I'm told I'll get used to it.
I'm just keeping my eye on the prize :) It's very hard to not be ridiculously excited.

till tomorow..... xo
Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
Saturday, July 11, 2009
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Author Unknown

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,
without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.I
will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
Thursday, July 9, 2009

HSG Scheduled

HSG Scheduled
Thursday, July 9, 2009
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and I'm still soooooooooo not looking forward to it :(
It's set for Wednesday. July 15 @11:30am. I'm hoping that we'll get our results from the tests we took this week then too.

Alexis has confessed that he's super nervous about it. Says he doesn't want to see me in pain. Hm. I wonder how HE'LL handle childbirth.

We may have to give him an epidural. ;)
I love him though and it means a lot that he cares that much. <3

I really am lucky that he is willing to go to all the appointments and listen to all the stuff that I'm sure he may not understand half of. I know to some it would expected but I know not all women are lucky enough to have super supportive husbands. I thank god for mine everyday. Especially now.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Test Day 2

Test Day 2
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
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So let me start off by saying that my mornings normally do not start till about 9:30-10am.
Today I was up at 6:30am :(

Now, I know what you're thinking...this girl is nuts complaining about waking up at 6:00am when she's trying to have a baby.

But here's the thing, my husband does not sleep. He is up literally all night and goes to sleep around 5:00am. Every night. A good night is maybe 2:00-3:00am. So we've agreed that when Baby Rojas comes he will always take over night shifts since he's up anyway.

Moving along....I woke up at 6:30am to shower and get ready etc. As I'm sure most women do, I always like to make sure I'm extra clean before I go to the OB/Gyn / RE .
Got DH up at 7:15am so that he could get ready and we could be out of the house before 8 for our 9:15 appt.
Got to the office about 10 minutes early and the saw us right away. DH went in first for the SA and about a minute later I went in for the U/S.
Imagine how relieved I was that I had taken all the extra time showering this morning when I found out it was a trans vaginal U/S!
Anyway, sonogram went well....I guess. I kinda got to see what was going on, on the monitor but didn't care enough at that moment to ask cause I was way too sleepy. For those of you that have not had an U/S before, the rooms are dark and cold. Perfect sleeping environment! My last internal U/S I dozed off.

DH said the SA was about as exciting as it could be. ::giggle:: He stated that the "material" in the happy room was severely out-dated and the movie selection not so great. I told him to make sure he leaves his thoughts in the suggestion box. :)

We were in and out of there in about 20 minutes. Which is sad since it took us twice as long to get there.

The blood work yesterday went well, Despite having to get poked 3 different times for the glucose tolerance/insulin resistance test. I really thought they would just leave a catheter in and come back and draw blood every hour but that was not the case. Oh well! All for a good cause.

I'm in the process of scheduling my HSG now, should have a set time and date by tomorrow. I'm thinking it will most likely be on Monday.
Not looking forward to it one bit but, DH will be with me so I'm sure that will help.

I'm really hoping that everything comes back ok and that we'll be able to start treatment next cycle!

Till the next time...thanks for reading!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Test day 1

Test day 1
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
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So today is blood work day! Sounds exciting eh? No so much.

Let me explain something, I hate needles. Now I know that having that anxiety and wanting to get PG doesn't really go well together, because from what I am told, being PG is basically 9 months of giving blood.
I'm working on it!

Anyway, today I go in for all the hormonal testing and the 2 hour glucose tolerance and insulin resistance test. DH is also going in for his STD test. He gets kudos from me for sticking around for 2 hours while I do the test, since I'm sure it will be less than thrilling.

Tomorrow, I have the Pelvic ultrasound.

Wish me luck!
Monday, July 6, 2009

Appointment Update!

Appointment Update!
Monday, July 6, 2009
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I'm a little late with this but I had a busy weekend and I wanted to have time to write everything.

So Thursday was my appointment with the RE and it went great!

My new doctor is amazing. She said that although doctor's will always say losing weight helps that is not an issue and we need to move past that to find a solution :) I was very happy to hear that.

I basically have a long list of testing coming up that they do with all their new TTC patients.
After all the testing she said I would come back in, we'd have a follow up discuss options and get right to it if I want her to.
She said she would not push us to do anything we didn't want to but would not deny me anything if I wanted to move forward right away.

So here's how it's going to work. On my first day of next AF I need to call in. Luckily AF decided to behave this month and she arrived this morning :) 32 days this time! Woot!

Tomorrow (CD 2) I'll be going in to the lab for a glucose tolerance test, insulin resistance and a bunch of other things that they want to know about my blood. They are also testing my E2, FSH and LH.
Alexis is also having an STD test done.

On Wednesday, CD 3 I need to go in to the office to have an ultrasound done. I'm not exactly sure what the ultrasound is for since I missed that part. Lots of information given that day and unfortunately the new patient package they gave doesn't list the reason.
Alexis will also have his SA done that day. Since he's never had one done the Dr. just wants to get it out of the way while we're doing everything else.

After AF is gone and before OV, I need to go in for an HSG. This part I'm not looking forward to AT ALL since from what I'm told it's on the painful side.

Here is some information on the HSG since most don't know what it is:

A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile).
During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (
contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A hysterosalpingogram also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall.

After the HSG, I start OV testing at home with the OPK.

Once I get a positive surge, I need to back to the lab 7-10 later to do the P4 Testing.

and that's it!

After all the tests are done we'll be scheduling a follow-up appointment to go over all the options.

We're both very happy, hopeful, excited etc.

I'm sure some of you can understand what a relief it was that the RE was so wonderful. Actually, the whole staff there is. It's a very exciting thought to think that by the end of the year we could be expecting parents.

OH! and the best part is...our insurance covers ALL OF IT :) It will even cover up to 6 IUI's.
Our only OOP is the $15 co-pay to the RE's office.

Well off to make my appointment!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

definitely getting some butterflies...

definitely getting some butterflies...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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Well " the appointment" is the day after tomorrow and I am super nervous.

Not sure what about, I'm just hoping to get some good news. The hope is to be pregnant by Christmas. But, we shall see.

All I can do is continue to pray and hope that they are willing to work with me.

That's my mini vent for the day. Thanks for reading!
Friday, June 26, 2009

A new start...

A new start...
Friday, June 26, 2009
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So I had originally started this blog last year to fill with randomnesses.

It's been over a year and a lot has happened.

Allow me to fill you in.

Alexis and I "officially" started trying to have a baby in June of last year. After visiting with my OB in June (pre-pregnancy consult) who told me to try for about 6 months if not come back for further testing etc, in July I had a CP. After that, I started having lots of problems cycles lasting 1-2 months, pains in my ovaries and lots of other uncomfortable things. At my June appt. my doctor had brought up PCOS as a possibility but decided to go the natural route for at least 6 months before running any tests.
In December my insurance was changed at work and I could no longer see my OB.

So I searched for a new doctor and had to wait 2 months for an appointment.

In visiting the new doctor she ran all kinds of uncomfortable tests after I explained everything that had been going on. A month later I went back in for the results and in April I was formally diagnosed with PCOS. Thankfully, I had no other issues. PCOS can cause diabetes and I was extremely nervous about that.

My doctor's remedy....lose weight and come back in 6 months. Deep down, at that moment, I wanted to cry. I walked out of the doctor's office with my game face on and a sense of determination but the reality was that I was even more discouraged than I was before I went in.

About a week later it really started to sink in how "not okay" I was with all of this. I couldn't help but think to myself "big girls have babies all the time". The reality is that other than being over-weight there is nothing else wrong with me. I didn't mind watching what I ate so no furhter problems arose and attempting to lose a few pounds but I did not want it to be a pre-requisite for having a baby.

So after going back and forth, crying lots and lots of tears and having my heart literally hurt 24 hours a day over the fact this is so difficult when for others it's soo easy I decided to go see another doctor. I also found lots of encouragement from girls on message boards in similar situations and this site which basically state if a doctor tells you to lose weight and come back....get a second opinion.

I made an appointment with the only RE covered under my insurance. Which of course is in Pembroke Pines = SUPER FAR!

Oh well... gotta do whatcha gotta do.

I'll be honest....I'm ridiculously nervous.
I was very open with the office when I made my appointment. I explained why my OB turned me away and to please not waste my time because this office was over an hour from my house.
But, I'm still worried I'll get a similar reaction from them.

They sent over all the forms for me to fill out. I still need to get all the paperwork from my OB about all the tests I had done and call my insurance so they have me listed as having IF issues.

All I can do now is pray. I truly hope that this all works out for the best. A little hope a faith.
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