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Sunday, September 6, 2015


Sunday, September 6, 2015
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I guess I should rewind a bit.
My FET was Wednesday. The FET itself went great!

We transferred 2 "Fair" embryos. They grade them Good, Fair and Poor. The best part was that my Dr. did the transfer. We scheduled this specifically so she could do it. Since this is going to be our last time doing this for a WHILE I wanted to make sure that she was the one that did the transfer. I go to a large practice and usually you get whomever is scheduled to be in the OR that day. Anyway, we got there and as soon as she was done with whatever procedure she was doing at the moment she came out and said Hi and gave me a big hug. That immediately calmed my nerves and made me feel so much better. I'm sure the valium I had taken a few minutes prior helped too.
We waited for her to finish a retrieval and they took us in about 20 minutes later. It went well. Once it was over she gave me a huge hug that made me a little teary eyed and we went on our way.

I've been home doing absolutely nothing since.

DH has been pretty amazing. I don't tell him often enough at all but he really is. He purposely took all these days off from work so that he could be home with me taking care of me. He's cooked all our meals and just let me hang out around the house. The days seem to be going faster this time around.

As far as how I feel, meh, crappy. 1dp I has some pink tinge in the left over clumps of my Crinone so I'm HOPING that was implantation but that's just wishful thinking. 2dp I felt like complete shit. I was super dizzy and tired all day. I ended up napping from about 10 a.m. till 3 p.m. and that helped. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm up every hour at night and then exhausted during the day. I'm like a newborn. Yesterday was good. A lot more doing nothing all day. At around 4:30 p.m. I fell asleep and woke up just before 8. I'm sure it's Crinone related as I always have this issue with it. Last night I barely slept. I finally fell asleep WELL around 6:00 a.m and woke up at 8:30 a.m.
I feel bleh today. I THINK my boobs are starting to feel sore, I'm dizzy and I got nauseous when I was in the shower a little while ago. I've had cramping here and there over the last few days.
I've had a bit of head congestion so it could be related to that.
I'm hoping to get DH up so we can make a quick trip to the store since I can already tell I'm going to be in a super fantastic mood today.
Tomorrow I'm going to take one of my HPT's at home.
I'm praying.
I'm hoping that some of these symptoms seem to be developing the later I get in to my 10 day wait that it means something "positive".
They could all be TOTALLY unrelated and I get that, but I'm supposed to have faith and all that right?

If you're out there and reading this, please say a little prayer for us.
We could really use it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

7 days till FET....

7 days till FET....
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
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I picked a bad day to update this as I am having a shitty day but I figured it's been a WHILE and it's definitely time for an update.
So far things have been pretty uneventful.
Lupron has made me a bitch.
The addition of the Vivelle patches has made me a basket case.
I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
This week especially I feel like my brain is about 100 steps behind everything and everyone else.
Crinone starts on Friday. This should be fun.
I'm truly looking forward to being done with these meds. I know I have a ways to go though.

Monday I heard from Dr. W. I had emailed her at the end of July and then again about 2 weeks ao and I had not heard back. I decided just to wait till Friday's appointment and ask them to have her call me. But she beat me to it.
In my last email to her I asked her about the possibility of transferring 2 embryos instead of 1. I wasn't sure what she would say and I know based on previous conversations she preferred transferring one. Since I'm under 35, been pregnant before and don't have egg quality issues 1 was the way to go with the fresh.
She basically told me that if I wanted to do 2 with the FET and I understood the risks etc. that she was okay with it.

So....We'll be transferring two on 9.2

I'm happy she'll be doing the transfer. She hasn't done any of my procedures since the IUI that got me pregnant in 2009. Since this was going to be our last cycle for a WHILE I wanted to make sure she did it.

I'm nervous. I had not really given this cycle much thought until Monday. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the possibility of there being more than one. It's scary for so many reasons.
I'm always just hoping that it works.
It's been a long road.
I feel defeated. I feel like I'm sucking at absolutely everything else in my life.
I'm just hoping that this light at the end of the tunnel is coming soon.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Lupron Day 1...

Lupron Day 1...
Sunday, August 2, 2015
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Good Morning!

Well today is my first day of Lupron.
I now I said I would write when I got a calendar but clearly I suck because here I am a week later.
Let me catch you up.
AF showed up 7.24
7.27 I went in for Baseline.
Everything was good.
I asked how we could schedule this so that my Dr. could be the one to do the transfer and they were able to work it out. Amen!
Started BCPs that night.
Lupron starts today 8.2
My last BCP is on 8.9
My next lab & u/s is 8/14
Pre-Op is 8.28
and as long as everything is good. my transfer is 9.2

I still haven't discussed with my doctor our desire to transfer 2. Still really hoping she'll agree.

So that's that.

Today is Sunday and I'm hoping there will be a decent amount of relaxing involved in today's activites!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

IVF #1 = Failed

IVF #1 = Failed
Thursday, July 23, 2015
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I've been avoiding writing this entry for the last few days. 

But, since I finally had my beta yesterday I guess it's time. 

So as you can tell from the title, it didn't work.
I had a bad feeling when I woke up 5dp5dt. I just knew.

I took a test that evening and it was negative.

I took one the following day, same result. 

There was really no reason it shouldn't have worked.

It's taken me a few days, a lot of tears and anger but, I think I'm finally okay. 

I had a talk with my amazing RE last night and I'm ready to move on to our FET which should be taking place at the end of next month. I should start meds within the next few days as soon as AF arrives. 

We have our 3 frosties left and I'm hoping she'll agree to let us transfer 2 of them. 

I'll update more once we have a schedule and I have an idea of all the meds I'll need. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2015


Wednesday, July 15, 2015
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Let's start with something SUPER awesome and positive.
So on Monday morning my incredibly awesome RE gave me a call and told me that my 3 remaining embies all made it to freeze!
This lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
I'm pretty sure we wont be able to do another fresh cycle so I was praying that we'd have some to freeze.

Moving along....

The last few days have been a lot of the same.

Dizziness: On & Off
Nausea: On & Off
SO SO Sleepy: Every day.
My boobs are killing me: Every day.
Cramping: Every day.
Twinges/Pulling/Aching of all my reproductive parts: Pretty much Every day.

All of which I'm pretty much attributing to the Crinone.
I've taken it during my IUIs before and it's always been a super fun mindf**k since it mimics pretty much all pregnancy symptoms.

I'm not really sure how I feel about all this.

The frozen embies have really helped give me peace about the possibility of this not working.
Don't get me wrong, there is still a VERY good possibility that I will be seriously devastated if it doesn't work and might need a few days to recover. But I might be okay.

I'm still truly hoping it works.
I've gotten quite attached to "thumbs up embryo"

Send all the sticky vibes you got.
They are much needed and MUCH appreciated.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

7.11.15 Transfer Day! For real this time...

7.11.15 Transfer Day! For real this time...
Sunday, July 12, 2015
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We arrived at the OR again at 9:00 a.m.
It was a beautiful morning. 

Perfect day to get knocked up.

We were taken to room #5 this time. 

To our nice surprise it had a view! of the parking lot but a view nonetheless. We were going to be there a while so it was nice to have things to look at besides curtains.

The nurse came back and immediately started our paperwork and we were shown a picture of this perfect little scientific creation that's half DH & half Me.  

I stared at it for a while. 
Our perfect (to me any way) little 5 day hatching blast. 

A little back story: So when they called to cancel my 3dt, I told DH that I wondered was a great embryo looked like.  He said that it would be giving us a thumbs up. 

Fast forward to this day and he sees our hatching blasts and comments that the part that is hatching looks like a thumb. He immeditately declares this is a sign of good things to come. 
From your mouth to God's ears, love. 

So after starting at the picture for about 15 minutes I put on my lucky socks......

 and waited.

They finally took us in about an hour and a half later.
The procedure was quick.  They let us watch it on the monitor which is amazing.
If you're curious, Google > Egg Transfer IVF. Fascinating.
We saw our little embie put in what will hopefully be his/her home for the next 9 months and that was it. 15 minutes later were done.

We hung out for about 15 more minutes and we were sent on our way. 

I've had MANY IUI's but this was SO different.

With the IUIs you leave without anything other than the hope that sperm will meet egg and in 12-14 days you find out if they found each other or not. 
With IVF, you leave with this little almost baby floating around inside you hoping and praying that it decides to make it self comfy and stick around for a while.
In a picture it looks just like a little circle with bunch of cells but all those cells in the middle....they become your baby.
Those cells are enough to make a human.
It's scary how quickly one becomes attached to that tiny bunch of cells.
How quickly you can imagine if it's a boy or girl and all the plans you have for it. 

So now we do more waiting, and hoping and praying. 

Beta is schedule for 7.21
Thursday, July 9, 2015

Transfer Day! 7.9.15

Transfer Day! 7.9.15
Thursday, July 9, 2015
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We got a call from the nurse saying that our 4 little embies were doing SO awesome that they were pushing my transfer to a 5dt on Saturday morning.

I'm a happy girl.

Especially after my RE sent me this awesome email

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

1 day past retrieval....

1 day past retrieval....
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
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Went to work.
Felt pretty good minus a few twinges here and there and some light cramping.

Got my fert report.

Out of 11 eggs, 4 were mature and all 4 fertilized with ICSI.

3 day transfer is scheduled for Thursday 7.9.15

A little sad. I was hope a few more would fertilize.

Definitely overdid it at work. Came home uncomfortable and exhausted. I went to sleep at 6:45 p.m.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Egg Retrieval

Egg Retrieval
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
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Monday July 6, 2015
Reported to the RE's office OR @ 8:00 a.m. to check in.
Once they went over all the details and instructions for the next few days, they sent DH on his way to their 3rd floor which is where the "man rooms" are. 
They took me to the waiting/recovery rooms and put me in bed #2.
They took my vitals. BP and temp were good. Pulse was 100+. Nervous, much? YES.
They had me change in to a gown (thankfully they had the ones NOT for skinny people)
and then they did THIS to me...
Just as they finished that, DH came back with his tiny brown paper bag of man stuff.
The anesthesiologist came to meet me and ask a bunch of questions. He asked if I wanted an "appetizer" to calm my nerves while I waited. I said YES. DH did as well but his request was denied.
Nurse told me to go to the bathroom, when I came out my bed was gone. 
Another nurse told me to head to the back, apparently we were starting early. 
They took me in to what I had once heard being called the most intimidating room ever. Truth.
Laid me down. Put my legs up in these leg holder things and covered every inch of my bottom half with sterile blue OR paper stuff with the exception of my lady bits.
Met the Dr. who I had only previously met while also in this compromising position while he was doing my SIS. I mentioned this. We laughed. Good times. 
I remember the anesthesiologist giving me the part of my meds he called "the stuff that's gonna make you not care about anything" and I immediately got sleepy and a little loopy.
I remember the embryo lab guy coming in and asking me if I was me.
I remember them calling out the details of the, date, time and what they were doing
I remember looking over to the anesthesiologist, wondering if the anesthesia that was going to put me to sleep looked like the while milky stuff I've always seen on tv. I was pleasantly surprise to see that it did.
Last thing I remember was his asking me if it burned, I said No and that was it.....

Next thing I knew it was about 30 minutes later and I was back in my little "room" someone had taken my hair net off and fixed my hair and  DH had a big smile and was waiting for me. 
The doctor has already come in and told him they retrieved 11 eggs.
I was a little disappointed but it was about what I expected base on my E2.

Anesthesiologist came back and asked how my pain was, I said about a 4. He gave me a tiny dose of meds and that helped.

We stayed there for about 30-45 minutes and we were sent on our way.
I spent the rest of the day in bed crampy and in a little pain but overall okay.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

ER in less than 12 hours....

ER in less than 12 hours....
Sunday, July 5, 2015
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Well tomorrow is the day.

Tomorrow we find out how well the meds really worked

Tomorrow at 8am I report to the OR and ER is scheduled for 10:00 a.m.

This morning I had a post trigger E2 check and they also checked to make sure the HCG took.

My E2 yesterday was over 1300 and today it was 2,270.
They didn't give me the hcg but I didn't expect them to.

Since I can't lotion or perfume before going I showered and motioned tonight.
I also blow dried my hair since that always helps me feel "normal" and "together"

I wish I could take a sleeping pill.
I have no idea how I'm ever getting to sleep tonight .

I'll updated again tomorrow night.
Saturday, July 4, 2015

Tonight we trigger.....

Tonight we trigger.....
Saturday, July 4, 2015
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So many emotions right now that I'm not entirely sure how to sift thru them all.

I'm nervous:
I've ever been under anesthesia before. I'm only slightly freaking out about this.
We've been doing shots all week but this HCG shot is a big deal. It has to be done perfectly.

I'm pleasantly surprised:
That it only took 10 days of meds. That my body responded well and that I have 17 total measurable follies. I was not sure what to expect but this definitely surpassed any expectations I might have had.

For a recap, today's u/s showed

8 Follies on the Right:
19.1, 18.2, 17.8 16.7, 15.3 14.6, 13.4, 12.2

9 Follies on the Left:
20.6, 19.4, 19.2, 17.3, 16.6, 14.3, 14.3, 14.1, 13.8

Lining was 10.5 and my Estradiol was over 1300. 

I'm sad:
My doctor is not performing my ER. :( This actually makes me incredibly sad. I was really hoping that trigger would be tomorrow instead of tonight because I know on Tuesday's she's in the OR. But no such luck. I did email her (because I'm crazy) to ask if there was any possibility that she would be around this week for either the retrieval or the transfer. The last time a procedure worked she performed it and it's when I got pregnant with my son in 2009.
So sad.
I'm sad that my Mom isn't here. I know she's with me in spirit as is my Dad but I miss her. I wish I could call her and talk to her about all these feelings.

I'm excited:
If this works, I'll finally be pregnant again! Something that I've been wishing for and dreaming about since about a year after my boy was born. I've tried to not let me mind wander and get excited too much but sometimes I let it just to get out of the following feeling. Thinking about our new baby, if it's a boy or girl. What we would name him/her. What he/she would look like. How excited J would be to be a big brother.

I'm terrified:
What if this doesn't work? How will I recover? Will we end up with embies to freeze? So much unknown. SO much at stake. This is by far one of the scariest things I've ever done. This feeling by far overcomes them all. Sometimes it's not so bad. Sometimes it feels like a necessary feeling, but it's still so overwhelming.

All that being said, tonight is trigger.  Tomorrow morning we need to go to the office again for blood work. They'll be checking my estrogen again and making sure the HCG got in there properly.
We decided to rent a hotel room up near the office so we wouldn't have to come all the way home and then head back Monday morning for the ER.
So if you're reading this blog and you have any prayers or good vibes to spare, I would greatly appreciate them.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Here we are, 7 days of stims later.....

Here we are, 7 days of stims later.....
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
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This is going to be a quick update just to show where we are as of yesterday after 6 days of stims. 
The numbers in the parentheses are the sizes of my follies thus far. I have 7 on the right and 9 on the left.
My E2 came back at 280 which I'm disappointed about but I'm hoping that it will improve.
They increased my Follistim to 225iu for last night and tonight. My next check is tomorrow morning when they'll also do my pre-op appt.
Hoping for some better numbers. 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

On the second day of stims, my true love gave to me

On the second day of stims, my true love gave to me
Thursday, June 25, 2015
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a Menopur shot in my tushie!

Well today is Day 2 on stims.

Apparently, I was a little confused with the process when I had my consult because some things changed yesterday.

I went in as planned for my baseline at 7:45a.m. yesterday. It was one of those AWESOME days where I was the first one there so I went right in for bloodwork from there went directly to u/s. FTW!
After that we had to wait about 10 minutes for the nurse to review the u/s and meet with us. She told me that I would be starting stims that night (vs. Sunday like I originally thought). Also, the shots would be all at one in the evening vs. one in the A.M. and one in the P.M. Lastly, the Menopur would be done as an intramuscular shot vs. a sub-q. It was a lot to take in but after many questions. I finally got it all figured out. I still had to wait to hear that my E2 was low enough to start and finally found out around 4:00 p.m. that it was. It was 11.
So fast forward to the evening.....I mixed the Menopur which I was most nervous about and got it all ready for DH. The Follistim was easy since I've taken it so many times before. Overall, they weren't too bad. My butt was a tiny bit sore after that shot but it was better after a few minutes.
I have had a nasty headache since last night so that sucks but it could be a lot worse.
Tonight was Day 2 and it was a little easier. I'm ure by Day 4 I'll be a pro.
Speaking of Day 4, that's when I go in for my Follie check and bloodwork. Saturday morning. 
I'm hoping I've made some progress and that I'm actually responding to the meds. 

The nerves are starting to set in. I'm trying my hardest not to over think but there's always that small part of me that can't help but get excited at the idea of this FINALLY working. The part of me that hopes that all those people that keep saying they think this is what will finally do the trick are right. 

I'll be back on Sunday with an update!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

8 days til Baseline, 12 Days till stims.....

8 days til Baseline, 12 Days till stims.....
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
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Well, all the meds are here, I'm finishing up my last few days of BCPs and my Baseline appt. is scheduled for Wednesday the 24th at 7:45 am.

I still cannot believe i'm actually doing this.....that WE are actually doing this. Granted, I'm doing the majority of the work but considering my husband will be administering 90% of my medications and putting up with my crazy hormonal ass, I think he deserves to be included.

This process has been a bit emotional for me and I can only imagine that its going to get worse. I'm going to dump all of my depressing stories on here right now so if you don't want to listen to all my woe is me complaining, please do you self a favor and come back another time.

In 2012, I lost my Mom. My mom is actually my grandmother who raised me. Those who know me well know that I call my grandmother my Mom and that lady who gave birth to me my "Mother",
Anyway, I lost my Mom to cancer back in January 2012. When we were doing all the doctors appointments and such back in 2009 she was great to talk to about everything. We had a cancelled cycle and then another before we were finally able to start and she was always there to listen. She may not have always understood what I was explaining but that didn't matter.
A little back story, one of the main reasons I wanted to hurry up and have kids was because of her. I wanted to make sure that my babies got to meet her. Sadly it did not happen as quickly as I wanted and as cruel fate would have it, she got sick right around the time J was born and was diagnosed 2 months later. She passed away when he was 18 months old.

In July 2014, my mother passed away. She battled with drugs her whole life. She was in prison for a few years from the time I was a toddler till I was in Kindergarten, had a few good years, gave me 2 brothers and then began her downward spiral all over again. At the time of her passing I had not spoken to her in almost a year. Not because of me but because she basically disappeared. When J was born I made a promise to myself to allow her to be a part of his life if she wanted. So long as she never messed it up by showing up intoxicated somehow or by hurting him in any way. My brothers and I were never enough for her to fix herself and apparently neither was her grandson.
She ended up overdosing on heroin and died July 11th. This was hard for me in a lot of way I never imagined it would be. I mourned not so much her death but the relationship we never had. I wonder if I will ever stop being bitter about not having a mother.
I'm not hopeful.

A about a month before my Mom died in 2012, my Dad (actually my grandfather) found out his prostate cancer has returned. He fought for almost 3 years and I lost him on August 7th, 2014. This was a little less than a month after losing my mother (his daughter).
The passing of my Dad while still hard because he was such a light in not only my life but everyone else's, was a little easier to swallow than losing my Mom.
My Dad was tired. He found a long hard road and when I got to see him the last few days he was on this earth I saw him fade away. He was done and I was okay to let him go. He needed to be with my Mom. We would all be okay. It would all be okay.

This is what I told myself. I would be okay.

The reality, is almost true.

I'm a lucky girl. I have a wonderful husband. He drives me crazy a good portion of the time but I love him more than he knows and I am thankful and blessed for the life we have together and the beautiful boy we made.

I struggle with the happy adult side and my inner child who just wants her Mommy  & Daddy.

I knew that eventually, one day, I would lose my parents. I just didn't think it would be this soon. Especially when this part of my life, the part where I finally became a parent just got started.

I miss them. One of my biggest fears about this cycle and God willing having another baby, is not having them. Not having them to call whenever any of the kids* does something new or awesome. Not having my Dad call me and give me endless amount of child rearing information that he heard on TV or read in a magazine/newspaper which made me laugh hysterically every time because it was never anything truly useful. My Mom, who no matter how old I got still always made me feel like I was her baby, her voice was always the most soothing sound and 3 years later I still always want to call her to tell her things. There are moments that for a split second I forget that I can't.
Those moment while so very brief are so incredibly painful.

I try to imagine going thru all of this without her and it's hard.
Aside from my husband, I really don't have anyone else. My brothers are pretty much absent, they're in their early 20's so I guess I shouldn't expect much from them. My aunt is probably my closest "replacement" but she has a demanding job, a daughter of her own and my brother's live with her so she has her hands full. I only really talk to her about once a week IF that.
My best friend, if I can even really call her that any more filled up her house with babies and she's pretty much disappeared as well.
At the end of the day I'm really just grasping at straws because none of them are ever going to be a "replacement" for her.

So there it is.

It's a process, a struggle, in more ways than one but I'm going to make the best of it. I'm going to pray harder than ever and have faith that this will work.
I never imagined only having one child and I want my son to grow up with a sibling
I want him to have a best friend to grow up with & share secrets with.
So he is never left alone and will have someone that will be there for him when my husband and I are no longer on this earth.

Yes, he is healthy and happy and we are blessed to have him. But I'm not ready to give up on this dream yet. I'm not ready to let it go.
I will keep fighting until I have no fight left if it means making this possible.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

When your cycle start date isn't for another 21 days....

When your cycle start date isn't for another 21 days....
Thursday, June 4, 2015
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all you do is think.


and obsess some more.

On Monday we had our IVF consult with Dr. W.  She basically went over the process again and let us know that her goal would be to transfer one embie if it made it to day 5. If we only make it to day 3 then it will be 2. I thought I would still need to do the trial transfer but apparently she had the foresight to sneak it in during my SAS in April (before she decided to do IVF) so that's taken care of.
As of right now, my last day of BCP's is on June 19th. I go in or my baseline bloodwork & ultrasound on June 24th and start stims 4 days later on June 28th. Stims will last 10-12 days or so, once I have enough follies I do the trigger and retrieval is 36 hours later.

So for now. We wait.

On a side note:
Taking BCP has been fun. I think I read somewhere they call it Reclipsen Rage. Yeah, I definitely have that. Not every day, thank God (or at least my husband does) but it's similar to how I used to feel on Clomid.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

I'm back, back again....

I'm back, back again....
Saturday, May 30, 2015
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Well hello blog, so we meet again....
Let's see how quickly I can catch you up.

2013 was a piece of shit. There really isn't much to say about that. We did two more IUIs after the last post and both were a bust. The last one being the worst as I finally responded great to meds and it was for nothing because my progesterone dropped so damn fast after the IUI that there was no hope to be had.
I took that BFN REALLY hard. I wanted nothing to do with TTCing and I really wanted to just crawl in to a whole for a few months. That following month however I put on my big girl panties and took my little one to Disney World. I ultimately decided I needed  take an extended break. This was going to be J's last year home before starting school and my Dad was also really sick and we knew we were going to lose in in 2014 so I did not want to put anything more on my plate. 
I enjoyed the next 8 months with my boy and just before he started school on August 18th, 2014, my Dad passed away on August 7th. I was rough. On a positive note though, I ended up getting an amazing new job and that I started on August 22nd, 2014 and it really helped get me thru the next few months. 
We decided to hold off on the baby making for another while so I could focus on work and it really has been an amazing experience. I count my blessings daily.
This March we decided it was time to get back on the saddle. 
I called my RE's office and scheduled an appointment with her for April. I really do miss the days when she was the New Kid on the Block and didn't have many patients. Now she's a super hot commodity. To think, J was the first baby she helped someone conceive successfully at that practice. 

April was spent completing all the necessary testing and I began changing my lifestyle in terms of food etc.

All my tests came back good. I'm pretty much in the same boat as I have always been. My insulin levels were a little off thanks to my PCOS so Dr. W decided to put me on Metformin which I have been taking for about 3 weeks now. 
Originally the plan was to do one more IUI. I know, you must be asking wtf I would do another one. The truth is I don't know. Something inside me wanted to try it once more. I feel like things never really lined up well in 2013 and I wanted to give it one last shot before moving on to IVF. 
That was the plan. Was. 
DH's SA results came back and they weren't great. While his counts are still great, 100mil+, his motility and morph went down a lot. Most importantly his morph went down to 1%. 
Once we got those results, I started to rethink this plan. 
Dr. W also expressed in our consult after all the testing that she did not think that there was any point in doing yet another IUI. She thought that we had really exhausted that option and thought that we should consider moving on to the IVF route. However, she did tell me that she would do whatever I wanted and that if I really felt like I needed to do one more, she was on board.
So, after talking to my insurance and figuring out what would be covered we decided to set up an IVF consult with the nurse and the financial counselor and see what everything would entail. 
I asked DH what he thought and he said that if it's what I wanted to do he was on board.
ANNNNDDD here we are!

CD1 was on Thursday and I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work yesterday.

I was given my BCP rx which I started last night. More paperwork to read and all the remaining prescriptions I'll need for retrieval, transfer & thereafter.
I'll be on BCP till June 19th and I'm due back to the office for ultrasound and blood work on June 24th.

So that's it for now.
It's all very exciting, scary, overwhelming etc. 
It makes me miss my Mom. Not having her to call isn't easy.
But, I'm going to try my best to think and be positive. Continue working to try to be a better healthier version of me and PRAY. 

I'm also going to try to not neglect my blog. Promise. 
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