7 days till FET....

7 days till FET....

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

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I picked a bad day to update this as I am having a shitty day but I figured it's been a WHILE and it's definitely time for an update.
So far things have been pretty uneventful.
Lupron has made me a bitch.
The addition of the Vivelle patches has made me a basket case.
I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
This week especially I feel like my brain is about 100 steps behind everything and everyone else.
Crinone starts on Friday. This should be fun.
I'm truly looking forward to being done with these meds. I know I have a ways to go though.

Monday I heard from Dr. W. I had emailed her at the end of July and then again about 2 weeks ao and I had not heard back. I decided just to wait till Friday's appointment and ask them to have her call me. But she beat me to it.
In my last email to her I asked her about the possibility of transferring 2 embryos instead of 1. I wasn't sure what she would say and I know based on previous conversations she preferred transferring one. Since I'm under 35, been pregnant before and don't have egg quality issues 1 was the way to go with the fresh.
She basically told me that if I wanted to do 2 with the FET and I understood the risks etc. that she was okay with it.

So....We'll be transferring two on 9.2

I'm happy she'll be doing the transfer. She hasn't done any of my procedures since the IUI that got me pregnant in 2009. Since this was going to be our last cycle for a WHILE I wanted to make sure she did it.

I'm nervous. I had not really given this cycle much thought until Monday. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the possibility of there being more than one. It's scary for so many reasons.
I'm always just hoping that it works.
It's been a long road.
I feel defeated. I feel like I'm sucking at absolutely everything else in my life.
I'm just hoping that this light at the end of the tunnel is coming soon.

Lupron Day 1...

Lupron Day 1...

Sunday, August 2, 2015

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Good Morning!

Well today is my first day of Lupron.
I now I said I would write when I got a calendar but clearly I suck because here I am a week later.
Let me catch you up.
AF showed up 7.24
7.27 I went in for Baseline.
Everything was good.
I asked how we could schedule this so that my Dr. could be the one to do the transfer and they were able to work it out. Amen!
Started BCPs that night.
Lupron starts today 8.2
My last BCP is on 8.9
My next lab & u/s is 8/14
Pre-Op is 8.28
and as long as everything is good. my transfer is 9.2

I still haven't discussed with my doctor our desire to transfer 2. Still really hoping she'll agree.

So that's that.

Today is Sunday and I'm hoping there will be a decent amount of relaxing involved in today's activites!

IVF #1 = Failed

IVF #1 = Failed

Thursday, July 23, 2015

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I've been avoiding writing this entry for the last few days. 

But, since I finally had my beta yesterday I guess it's time. 

So as you can tell from the title, it didn't work.
I had a bad feeling when I woke up 5dp5dt. I just knew.

I took a test that evening and it was negative.

I took one the following day, same result. 

There was really no reason it shouldn't have worked.

It's taken me a few days, a lot of tears and anger but, I think I'm finally okay. 

I had a talk with my amazing RE last night and I'm ready to move on to our FET which should be taking place at the end of next month. I should start meds within the next few days as soon as AF arrives. 

We have our 3 frosties left and I'm hoping she'll agree to let us transfer 2 of them. 

I'll update more once we have a schedule and I have an idea of all the meds I'll need. 

4dp5dt....

4dp5dt....

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

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Let's start with something SUPER awesome and positive.
So on Monday morning my incredibly awesome RE gave me a call and told me that my 3 remaining embies all made it to freeze!
This lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
I'm pretty sure we wont be able to do another fresh cycle so I was praying that we'd have some to freeze.

Moving along....

The last few days have been a lot of the same.

Dizziness: On & Off
Nausea: On & Off
SO SO Sleepy: Every day.
My boobs are killing me: Every day.
Cramping: Every day.
Twinges/Pulling/Aching of all my reproductive parts: Pretty much Every day.

All of which I'm pretty much attributing to the Crinone.
I've taken it during my IUIs before and it's always been a super fun mindf**k since it mimics pretty much all pregnancy symptoms.

I'm not really sure how I feel about all this.

The frozen embies have really helped give me peace about the possibility of this not working.
Don't get me wrong, there is still a VERY good possibility that I will be seriously devastated if it doesn't work and might need a few days to recover. But I might be okay.

I'm still truly hoping it works.
I've gotten quite attached to "thumbs up embryo"

Send all the sticky vibes you got.
They are much needed and MUCH appreciated.

7.11.15 Transfer Day! For real this time...

7.11.15 Transfer Day! For real this time...

Sunday, July 12, 2015

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We arrived at the OR again at 9:00 a.m.

It was a beautiful morning. 

Perfect day to get knocked up.

We were taken to room #5 this time. 

To our nice surprise it had a view! of the parking lot but a view nonetheless. We were going to be there a while so it was nice to have things to look at besides curtains.

The nurse came back and immediately started our paperwork and we were shown a picture of this perfect little scientific creation that's half DH & half Me.  

I stared at it for a while. 

Our perfect (to me any way) little 5 day hatching blast. 

A little back story: So when they called to cancel my 3dt, I told DH that I wondered was a great embryo looked like.  He said that it would be giving us a thumbs up. 

Fast forward to this day and he sees our hatching blasts and comments that the part that is hatching looks like a thumb. He immeditately declares this is a sign of good things to come. 

From your mouth to God's ears, love. 

So after starting at the picture for about 15 minutes I put on my lucky socks......

 and waited.

They finally took us in about an hour and a half later.
The procedure was quick.  They let us watch it on the monitor which is amazing.
If you're curious, Google > Egg Transfer IVF. Fascinating.
We saw our little embie put in what will hopefully be his/her home for the next 9 months and that was it. 15 minutes later were done.

We hung out for about 15 more minutes and we were sent on our way. 

I've had MANY IUI's but this was SO different.

With the IUIs you leave without anything other than the hope that sperm will meet egg and in 12-14 days you find out if they found each other or not. 

With IVF, you leave with this little almost baby floating around inside you hoping and praying that it decides to make it self comfy and stick around for a while.
In a picture it looks just like a little circle with bunch of cells but all those cells in the middle....they become your baby.
Those cells are enough to make a human.
It's scary how quickly one becomes attached to that tiny bunch of cells.
How quickly you can imagine if it's a boy or girl and all the plans you have for it. 

Terrifying. 

So now we do more waiting, and hoping and praying. 

Beta is schedule for 7.21

Transfer Day! 7.9.15

Transfer Day! 7.9.15

Thursday, July 9, 2015

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We got a call from the nurse saying that our 4 little embies were doing SO awesome that they were pushing my transfer to a 5dt on Saturday morning.

I'm a happy girl.

Especially after my RE sent me this awesome email

1 day past retrieval....

1 day past retrieval....

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

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Went to work.
Felt pretty good minus a few twinges here and there and some light cramping.

Got my fert report.

Out of 11 eggs, 4 were mature and all 4 fertilized with ICSI.

3 day transfer is scheduled for Thursday 7.9.15

A little sad. I was hope a few more would fertilize.

Definitely overdid it at work. Came home uncomfortable and exhausted. I went to sleep at 6:45 p.m.