In my feelings.....

In my feelings.....

Saturday, May 7, 2016

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The worst part about infertility treatments is the obvious....nothing is guaranteed.

You go thru all the emotions, appointments, shots, creams, medications, blood draws, ultrasounds and money, all for the hope that it will work.

It's not fair.

I'm 8 days in to stims right now. I haven't really shared any part of my journey this time around just because I'm scared. I'm not entirely optimistic. I'm not necessarily negative, just trying to stay neutral. I'm hoping that if I pretend that I don't really care it might make the great possibility of let down not hurt so much.

I'm responding almost exactly like I did previously.

I'm hoping that tomorrow's appointment will shows a big jump in e2 because right now it's pretty low.

I want this to work so very badly.

I know all women going thru this do.

I tired of all the failures. I'm praying that 3rd time is the charm.

Fresh #2 still pending....

Fresh #2 still pending....

Monday, April 18, 2016

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So let's see...

I started taking BCPs and was supposed to be done with them on the 9th and would have started stims on the 14th.
INSTEAD
at my saline ultrasound on April 5th Dr. W found a bunch of polyps.

She scheduled surgery for last week and on the 15th I got them all removed.

I was completely out for the procedure and it hasn't been too bad since. I still feel a little lightheaded and loopy headed from what I can only assume is the anesthesia. But overall, okay. 

I'm still bleeding on and off. 

Dr. W says I can start stims as soon as I get my period.

That's where I'm at. 

Still waiting. 

Dear Blog, Please forgive me. Love, the Bitter Infertile

Dear Blog, Please forgive me. Love, the Bitter Infertile

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

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Admittedly, I totally ignore this blog while not in the middle of the grand ole piece of shit that is trying to procreate by ways of ART.

I apologize.

I have a terrible habit of just never posting again when things go down hill.
I'm like a guy and this blog is my girlfriend, whom I treat badly and take total advantage of.

So to sum things up. The FET failed.
It was a really hard disappointment and and did a mini downward spiral which is always okay, IMO.

I was considering transferring my last embryo in December but then I found out that my husband's employer was changing insurance carriers which meant that we would have new coverage starting this year.

Thank God.

This year, thus far, I've been avoiding.
Until today.

Today, I went back to the RE. I had a nice quick consult with my doctor and agreed we would do a new fresh cycle. Over the next month I'll be on BCP and trying to be a slightly better version of my physical self before my physical and starting stims next month.

I'm borderline hopeful/excited and absofuckinglutely terrified. I'm leaning more towards the later.

For now, there's not much more to say. AF should be arriving in about a week and then I'll go in and start BCP.

Here we go again.