So I would like to share....

So I would like to share....

Friday, July 31, 2009

Read post

that this whole process has made me ridiculously emotional.

Yup. I cry for all things baby related. The other day I sat on the couch and cried watching "A Baby Story" and of course because I love to torture myself I watched about 4 episodes.

Upon telling Alexis he said that he knew that show was evil and promised to yell at it when he got home. Lol

Anyway....one of my recent episodes was this past weekend in the Keys. We were walking on Duval and passed this little shop hat my friend Tania had visited several times in the past.

They sell these frame by Sugarboo....BEAUTIFUL. Expensive, but beautiful.

I was reading all the frames and came across this one:

Needless to say, I starting crying in the store and needed to walk out. Awesome.

The frames are wooden and huge and come in different colors and are about $265. I have every intention of buying this one when the time comes.

Follow-Up Update :)

Follow-Up Update :)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Read post

So today was the follow-up! I honestly felt nauseated the whole way up there. I thought I was going to puke. Since my post testing follow-up with my last Dr. resulted in only let down I was super nervous about this one.

We got to the office and met with the RE immediately. After the warm hello and smiles (love her) her first words were "Got all your test results back and everything looks good!". The only thing that was a little off was my blood sugar (a little high because of the PCOS) but I already knew that from my last doctor. Her only recommendation was that I be mindful of what I eat. She also reminded me that being a "big girl" I should not gain excess weight during my pregnancy. I already knew that. Apparently, I'll only gain about 5-10lbs during pregnancy.

Anyway, her next question was how aggressive we wanted to be. In my case it really wasn't about "want" but more so that our insurance covers certain things and therefore we wanted to make the most out of what would be covered.

So we've decided to go the IUI route. Alexis and I had been talking about it over the last 2 weeks and we had pretty much already come to that conclusion due to his low morph. The doctor said IUI would be good since his count and motility were really good :)
We are starting with a "more simple" version of the IUI as per my Dr.

Here is the schedule:

CD 1 = Call Dr. to schedule CD 2 Ultrasound.
CD 2 = Ultrasound...if all is well (no cysts) I will be given my Clomid, Follistim & Ovidrel.
r
CD 3 - 7 = 2 50mg tablets of Clomid per day

CD 9 = DH gets to inject me with Follistim (shot goes in my stomach. FUN!)

CD 12 = Go in to check follicle sizes....if I have enough mature follicles that night DH gives me the Ovidrel injected (also in my stomach)

In the event that there were not enough mature follicles, we would go back in another couple of days for another u/s.
I would not take the Ovidrel shot until there were enough mature follies.

After the hCG (Ovidrel) shot I go in for the IUI. We'll be doing them back-to-back.


Dr. says we'll try this for 2-3 cycles and see what happens. In the event that it doesn't work we'll go a different route. The more aggressive route has a much higher chance of multiples so we hope it will work with that.

AF should be coming next week so it's only a matter of waiting now.

We're both excited and nervous and a huge ball of emotion. I'm also relieved that the overall appt. went well. My RE is truly wonderful.

Off meds and a + OPK :)

Off meds and a + OPK :)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Read post

So this past week was rough. The antibiotic totally kicked my ass but thankfully last night I took my last pill and hopefully I'll never have to repeat them. The cramps and spotting were gone by Thursday. I'm glad recovery from that was quick. My husband totally rocked this week. I really couldn't have asked for a better man.

Per the RE's orders I was to start with the OPK's on CD 10. Today, CD13, I woke up, went to the bathroom, pee'd on the OPK and 3 minutes later.....

I immediately came online and made my appointment for my P4 test. I'll have that done on Monday 7/27 since it needs to be done 7-10 days after. Hooray for the last test of the month! Woot!

I'm so glad that everything will be getting done in 28 days. Hopefully August will bring good things!

Next weekend, from Fri-Sun, Alexis and I are going down to the Keys for the weekend. I'm soooo looking forward to it. Our friends and our god-daughter are coming too. I think it will be a nice little getaway before we start treatment.

I've been thinking so much about everything the last few days. Definitely trying to stay positive but mentally preparing myself for what's to come. Good or bad. First being our appointment on the 30th. I honestly have no idea what the RE is going to say. I still have not heard about the results of all my blood work. I can only hope it's nothing terrible. I keep telling myself if it was bad they would have called. But you never know.

The 30th really can not come any faster!

I'm just going to continue thinking happy thoughts.

HSG = Done! & got DH's SA Results

HSG = Done! & got DH's SA Results

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Read post

So we'll start with the HSG.

First of all, I do not recommend this procedure to anyone. It was something I totally could have gone through life not having! I've never been one to have AF symptoms, so for me the cramps were REALLY bad. Thankfully it was all over in about 10 minutes. I really tried to concentrate on the little monitor to keep my mind off the pain. The Dr. that did it was one of the doctor's in my RE's practice and he was wonderful. He flushed out some stuff in my left tube but said I passed and gave my goods a stamp of approval. "Clear tubes and a good looking uterus" I’m still bleeding a little and have some pain but it's bearable and Dr. said it should be gone within 2 days.
Although I'm thankful it was done and we've ruled out any issues regarding my tubes and uterus, I truly hope I never have to have another one.

Now on to the SA results for the most part they were really good. The count and motility were both high with is awesome and the concentration is really good too. ^ 5 Babe!
The only thing that is a little off but not totally terrible is the morphology (shape and size) but that's something that hopefully is fixed fairly easily.
DH is a big smoker so I had a feeling if there were any problems the morph would be it BUT he stopped smoking a week ago and will start taking vitamins tomorrow which will help a lot. The internet says that Vitamin C & E will improve his "little soldiers" overall. I'm very proud of him. He hasn't stopped all together but is getting there. He's gone from smoking a pack in 2 days to about 2-3 cigs a day in a week. I'm very proud of him :)

We go for our follow-up on July 30th and that's when we'll go over all the results and decide on a plan.

Dreading tomorrow....

Dreading tomorrow....

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Read post

So tomorrow is the HSG and as I've previously stated I'm not looking forward to it.

The antibiotic they gave me totally sucks. I can be thankful that I didn't get he whole long list of side effects that I could have had but I have had to deal with headaches, nausea and some dizziness since yesterday.
The label also advised me to stay out of the sun. DH says it's going to turn me in to a vampire. Hm. No such luck so far.

Anyway, as for tomorrow, DH asked for a half day from work to come with me. Yesterday, he said home with me for a little while because I felt horrible after taking the first pill in the morning. I apparently did not eat enough to avoid the nausea. It was really bad. When he got to work his manager who is wonderful ask him why he was late, he explained ( I don't mind since she was very close to me while I worked there), he also explained why he was taking a half day tomorrow and she encouraged him to take the whole day.
Apparently she has had an HSG before and said it would be best for him to stay home with me all day. AWESOME. In both a good and bad way.

Oh well.

I'm also extremely nervous because we get the results of all the tests we've had so far tomorrow.
I'm trying not to think about it because I know it will drive me crazy.
I actually let it get to me a little the other night before bed and I had a what can only be described as a nightmare regarding the SA results.
Pray for us, please.

Ok, enough complaining. I know in the end it will all be worth it. It's just difficult because I was the kid that was never sick, never hospitalized, only went to the doctor when I needed check-ups or vaccs. so all this poking and testing is all very foreign to me. I'm told I'll get used to it.
I'm just keeping my eye on the prize :) It's very hard to not be ridiculously excited.

till tomorow..... xo

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Read post

Author Unknown

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,
without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.I
will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

HSG Scheduled

HSG Scheduled

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Read post

and I'm still soooooooooo not looking forward to it :(
It's set for Wednesday. July 15 @11:30am. I'm hoping that we'll get our results from the tests we took this week then too.

Alexis has confessed that he's super nervous about it. Says he doesn't want to see me in pain. Hm. I wonder how HE'LL handle childbirth.

We may have to give him an epidural. ;)
I love him though and it means a lot that he cares that much. <3

I really am lucky that he is willing to go to all the appointments and listen to all the stuff that I'm sure he may not understand half of. I know to some it would expected but I know not all women are lucky enough to have super supportive husbands. I thank god for mine everyday. Especially now.